It's week four of the job hunt; week four of sifting through sites filled with jobs I don't want or who don't want me. It should be depressing, this so far futile search, and sometimes it is. It is, at least, disheartening to apply for jobs that I'm qualified for... but that I have no real interest in. My background (marketing and project management) is not what I want for my foreground. That doesn't really make any sense. What I mean is that what I've been doing isn't what I want to be doing anymore. But it's what I'm qualified for and what pays the bills. And bills? We have lots of 'em. And so I keep at it; keep writing cover letters; keep sending my resume; keep trying to sell myself into a job I don't want. Like I said, it should be depressing. And sometimes it is.
Sometimes it's exhilarating having no idea what lies before me. Sometimes it's almost intoxicating thinking about the possibilities. Sometimes it seems like a disguised blessing to find myself without a job, because now I have the freedom to entertain crazy thoughts. Now I can think about risky career ideas because, you know, there are not many jobs that are riskier than no job at all.
Well. Motorcycle stuntman, I guess. That's pretty risky.
But you get my point. I'm considering things now that I wouldn't have considered from the secure seat of my Herman Miller Aeron office chair. Because giving up security for risk is something that I'm just not wired to do. But now, what've I got to lose?!
Besides my house.
In other words, despite some minor panic about finances (my house!), I'm feeling like some good could come of losing my job; that things will be tricky for a while, but better in the long run; that maybe, just maybe, this is the universe forcing me to find my way out of soul-sucking corporate bullshit jobs. And so I'm on the hunt. Not just for a job, but for what it is that I really want to do with myself.
Sometimes it's depressing. But sometimes it's not. And today is a good day.