Monday, September 06, 2010

Portrait of a new mother

She is perched precariously at the edge of the toilet, arms straining to take some of the weight off her torn perineum. She is completely naked, hair still wet from the shower. The urge to go struck just as she was drying off, and she knows this to be a "use it or lose it" moment. Lose it, and face a fate worse than pooping through a web of stitches; lose it, and face constipation; lose it, and face forcefully pooping through the same web of stitches.

This is not the kind of thing one should rush. There is no pushing allowed here. She sits. She waits, anxiously anticipating the sting. Her engorged right breast drips milk down her belly where it pools in her navel before spilling onto her thigh, already negating her rushed shower. She is not a religious woman, but she is audibly thanking the mighty lord she doesn't believe in for the blessed miracle that is stool softener.

She holds her breath. And then, without much fanfare, it's over.

This is motherhood.

In this moment, it is completely miserable. And in this moment, it is completely, utterly, totally worth it.

9 comments:

T said...

Poor baby has a broken clavicle??

And poor mama is having a rough go at... um... going?

Sending you both love and get well soon vibes.

((hugs))

bluzdude said...

Congratulations on passing both miracles.

And bless the people that gave us the stool softeners. Amen.

BigSis said...

You make it sound so glamourous :) Hope you are feeling better soon. Congrats on your bundle of joy!

@NikolSpencer said...

Well... It's about time someone shared the absolute worst part of the birthing process. ;) It's not the 9 months of carrying and waiting... it's not the 17 hours of labor... it's not the sleepless nights for the next 30 days... it's the fear, pain and complete agony that is the healing process.

Beautiful, Momma! Elegant, yet honest. Congratulations on your new wonder. Hugs and well wishes.. ;)

BigLittleWolf said...

I hate to admit it, but my how this brought back memories.

Is there somewhere a delicate little medal could be pinned, without hurting some spot that's already a bit tortured?

Feel better... and congrats...

Single Mom Seeking said...

Oh, mama! Thank you for writing about this, um, situation, which I remember so vividly... And big congrats to your bigger family!

It's A Yoga Thang said...

It's the beautiful, ugly truth what you just wrote so perfectly. Congrats to you all!

Nicki said...

Wow. I forgot about all of that. Makes me rethink some of my current choices...maybe.

Jen Needham said...

Isn't that the truth! I had nearly forgotten all of that- may have just been 11 months ago, but man does it feel like a lifetime has passed! Not sure whether to thank you for bringing me back...

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