Is this thing on? Hello? I'm still here. Are you?
It's been a while my bloggy friends. But, you know, first trimester = bleh. I'm finally beginning to feel better, so how's about a little update?
I am still pregnant. This is a little surprising, given the amount of bleeding I've been doing over the past 6ish weeks. There was the threatened miscarriage, followed by continual spotting, followed by three more episodes of too much bleeding, each followed by continual spotting, spotting, spotting. I've been feeling worried to say the least. I pee and then obsessively check the toilet paper each time I wipe to note the amount of blood (and there's always blood). After sex, The Man and I immediately inspect our parts to see how much damage has been done (not much, usually). It's getting old. And tiring. It's exhausting being worried, waiting on a miscarriage that (thankfully) never comes. Also? I feel horribly inadequate with my old leaky lady parts. I know I shouldn't; I know this is just one of those things. But still, I feel like I'm not doing my expectant mommy job very well.
And yet, here I am, 13-weeks pregnant today. And every ultrasound shows the same thing: a perfectly healthy little fetus inside a perfectly healthy uterus inside a perfectly healthy old woman. I had another appointment last week, with another ultrasound, and still the same story. All is well.
In other baby news: my nausea is mostly gone, my heartburn is getting better, my hiccups are getting worse, and my belly pooches over my waistband in a most unsightly manner.
Mondo Beyondo Update:
The class is now over, though I'm still busy completing assignments from two weeks ago. But, it's working! I didn't think it was. I was doing my assignments, and they were all interesting, but with the baby nausea blues, I wasn't able to really focus on them in the way I would've liked. Instead, I'd do the assignments (always at least a week late) and then almost completely forget about whatever I'd just learned or journaled or discussed with the group. And then, sort of out of nowhere, things started to fall into place. I had one half thought that led to another half thought, and then, days later, another half thought, and then suddenly thoughts tumbled and fell together in neat coherent piles that resembled... get ready for this... COMPLETE thoughts. Complete thoughts about things I want to do, and how they might be done. Yay!
It's simple enough, but this is what I've been struggling with. I've been feeling restless, needing change, needing... something. But I haven't been able to figure out what that something is. One of the class exercises was to write down a mondo beyondo list: all the things you want to do - no matter how wild or crazy or impossible. As it turns out, I'm a relatively simple girl with a relatively simple list. Most of the things I wrote down fall into one of three categories: being more creative, traveling, treading lightly upon the earth. But writing it all down and then forgetting about it (along with some of the other assignments), allowed my brain to nibble on the puzzle while I nibbled on other things. I don't know precisely what that "something" is yet, but I'm definitely narrowing in on one something; a starting something. And therefore, I consider my Mondo Beyondo time to be a success, even though I totally half-assed it and only completed a fraction of the assignments. I should've tried that approach in college.
Project Runway Update:
I'm finding this season mostly meh. You?
3 Fish Studios
15 hours ago