One cold night in mid-December, I sat hunched in a tiny chair around a tiny table in the library of The Kid's school. I was taking notes for a committee meeting, and I was staring at the moving mouth of the woman sitting across from me. She was saying words and I knew they should be making some sense to me - and they were, individually, as each one passed through her lips - but then they just dangled in the air in front of me, bobbing gently against one another, refusing to enter my consciousness as a cohesive thought.
I had a moment to chastise myself about how sucky my minutes were going to be if I couldn't wake up and focus. And then I was suddenly dizzy, my skull vibrating, my vision blurry. And then, just like that, everything was fine.
...everything except for a nagging suspicion. Strange as the experience was, it wasn't entirely unfamiliar. I'd felt something like it roughly nine years earlier.
"Oh my god!" I thought to myself. "I'm pregnant."
I dismissed the thought quickly, though it wasn't so far fetched. My IUD had reached its expiration six weeks earlier, and I hadn't had a new one inserted. I also hadn't started any other sort of hormone-based birth control, due to my body's staunch refusal to accept such hormones without puking in protest.
But we weren't being completely stupid. We had condoms! And we knew how to use them! Except that we didn't. Not always.
Still, I pushed the thought from my head.
A few short days later (maybe even the next morning?), I walked into the bathroom and prepared to shower. The Man smiled at me, gave me a hug, then looked at me quizzically and said, "Are you pregnant?"
He'd asked me the same question several times before, usually - I think - because it amuses him the way I squirm at the thought. On any other day, I would have waved his question away dismissively. And on this day too I scoffed at him. Nope. No way. Pishaw.
But on the way home from work that night, I stopped and picked up a pregnancy test. It didn't even bother to let me finish peeing on it before it haughtily declared: POSITIVE!
I laughed, incredulous, scared, excited.
Pregnant I am - about 8 weeks now. Let the wild rumpus start!
I Learned The Following From My Parents
16 hours ago