The class started last week.
In December, not long after discovering I was pregnant, I received a reminder email from the good folks at Mondo Beyondo. "January 11th!" they touted. "Hurray! Yay! Don't forget! Aren't you excited?!"
I wasn't excited. I was disappointed. I wanted to participate. I'd already paid the $99 for one thing. But more than that, I'd had BIG plans for 2010. Mondo Beyondo, I'd thought, was going to be the kick off.
Back in the great turkey fondling post of 2009, I'd written:
"And I'm feeling on the verge. Of what, I don't know. A new project. A new venture. Something big. Something different. Just something. But I'm pretty sure it's going to be great, whatever it is, if only I can let myself go there."I thought I was talking about a grand career change; a recommittment to dance or yoga; a reimmersion into the arts and creative outlets. I thought I was going to learn a new artsy skill, or maybe even several new artsy skills; something that would lend itself to creating tangible things with my own two hands.
Turns out, I was talking about having a baby. And creating something tangible with my own two hands? How about digging in to an ambitious home remodel in order to make room for that baby?
Not exactly what I had in mind for this year. Not that it's a poor alternative, mind you. Just... not what I'd been expecting. I was startled by the pregnancy and overwhelmed by what needed to be done to prepare.
Mondo Beyondo, I decided, wasn't in the cards.
And then I snapped out of it. No dreams for expectant mothers? Poppy cock. BIGGER dreams for expectant mothers!
So, I started my class a bit late, but I started. I pulled out a lovely unlined journal that I've had for over a year but never used because I hate unlined journals, and I completed the first few assignments without care that my writing was uneven and sliding off the page at a precarious angle.
Dreaming is not meant to be neat and tidy.