There are times when The Man and I don't communicate well. Or at all, period. Almost always, it's some trivial thing that gets blown up, and we end up not even talking about the trivial thing anymore, but arguing about the way we're talking about the trivial thing.
Tonight was one of those nights. Things were going really well, we were enjoying each other's company, and then... BLAMMO!
We were having a conversation that was tugging ever so gently at some old insecurities. The more we talked about it, the harder the tugs. I recognized that's what was happening and thought, "I'd better vocalize this, or I'm going to start reacting to what's in my head instead of what is actually going on."
That's what you're supposed to do, right? Open. Honest. Lay irrational reactions out of the table so they can be examined and dealt with.
Except that it rarely works out well.
I don't say it well. Or he doesn't hear it well. Probably a combination of the two. And then the whole things devolves into him demanding that I quote precisely what it was he said at some point earlier in the conversation (which I'm never able to do accurately), and I burst into tears of frustration.
That's not exactly what happened tonight, but you get the gist.
I should be talking to him about this right now, but I don't think we're at a point where we can have a conversation and really hear each other. Still...
I'm going to go try.
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