Approximately one million years ago, @nikolespencer (Moody Fingers) tagged me with the Honest Scrap award, and I am finally responding.
Cut me some slack. I've been busy moving a man into my bachelorette pad.
(Also? I wrote the first 3, and then totally forgot to finish and post.)
The Honest Scrap award is given by other bloggers who consider a blog’s content or design to be brilliant. The awardee must then post ten honest things about themselves and pass the award on to other bloggers who fit the bill – in other words, someone brilliant.
Yes, that's right. Someone besides my mother thinks I'm brilliant. So there.
1. I have been cheated on, done the cheating, and been the other woman. Each of those roles was horrid but, at least in my experience, being the other woman was the horridest. By a factor of, like, one billion.
2. I see dead people. Every house I've lived in since I was 5-years-old has been full of them. This is a little awkward, because I don't believe in ghosts. I also don't believe I'm nuts. I do, however, believe in unexplainable weird ass shit.
3. I really did look like this in 1990.
4. While drifting off to sleep, I laugh myself awake with dreams of pure hilarity in much the same way that many people jerk themselves awake with dreams of falling off cliffs. Pretty sure my way is better.
5. The angry dance in Footloose is maybe one of my favorite things of all time.
6. I've been formally proposed to by 4 men. The first was my 40-something ballet teacher. I was 17. I didn't take a whole lot of ballet after that.
7. I was a prolific liar as a child. They weren't malicious lies; I just liked telling stories. And I discovered I was good at it. (Storytelling, I mean. Not lying. Though I was reasonably good at that too.) Eventually I discovered writing, and the lying dropped off dramatically.
8. Every man I've ever dated has called me "aloof" at some point during our relationship. They were all right.
9. Beginning in junior high and ending sometime in college, I had a stalker. A real one, with death threats. He was my step-father, stalking my mom and I after she (finally) left him. Despite the fact that I blog, have profiles on Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, LinkedIn, and am listed on my employer's website, I will still punch you in the face if I discover you gave out my phone number to anyone. Old habits die hard.
10. For far too long, I thought Ira Glass (This American Life) was introducing himself as "hourglass."
Now for the tagging. I think the only brilliant blogger who hasn't yet been tagged* is Single Mom Survives. She is nothing if not honest. And sarcastic. And, yes, brilliant.
*If you are a blogger and believe yourself to be brilliant, by all means, consider yourself tagged. Please don't let my ignorance of your bloggy brilliance keep you from playing along.
Step into my parlor
5 hours ago