Wednesday, July 15, 2009


My mattress creaks likes the door to a haunted house. Quieter. Less spooky. But far more annoying. Reeeeer, ruuuuuuur, reeeeeer, ruuuuuur. In time with my inhalations (reeeeeeer) and my exhalations (ruuuuuuur). Right beneath my ear. Maybe if I shift my head?

Reeeeer, ruuuuur, reeeeeer, ruuuuuur.

No. More like an old lady's rocking chair. Like Norman Bates' mummified mother's rocking chair.


I breathe more deeply and the creaks grow louder, moaning their confirmation. Yes. An old lady's rocking chair.

The Dog jerks awake, gives a startled half-hearted bark, and begins gnawing on the corner of her doggie pillow. There must be a creaky old lady's rocker inside her bed too. I consider testing her method and chewing on the corner of my mattress, but ultimately decide against it.

Reeeeeer, ruuuuuuur, reeeeer, ruuuuuur. RER!RUR!RER!RUR!

Heh. It sounds funny when I breathe fast.

A train whistle blows in the distance. When the house is quiet enough for me to hear the trains, it means it's late. It means I should be sleeping.

But my head is too full of bother to make room for sleep.

There's been another incident with The Ex, and I need to think about how to handle it. But not tonight. I don't want to think about it tonight. Not on my kid's birthday. I want to think about anything else tonight.

Like how best to define the noise coming from my mattress.

Reeer, ruuuuur, reeeer, ruuuur...


Bobbi Janay said...

I don't know what happened but I hope the kid has a great birthday.

Momma Sunshine said...

Insomnia sucks. BAH!

T said...

What a funny post. Ok, I realize its not funny when you can't sleep but wow....

Hope its a nice birthday!

MindyMom said...

I'm the worst insomniac. Hate it. And my bed just started squeeking too. Sorry to hear about the Ex.

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