- Stand up and shut up when someone sings the National Anthem.
- Just get a base hit. Don't try to be a hero.
- A good play by your opponent is still a good play.
- It's not over until it's over.
- Let people have their silly superstitions.
- If you didn't bring a mitt, get the hell out of the way.
- Don't put stuff on the ground unless you're okay with it getting sticky.
- Sit still.
- Always say "excuse me" and watch out for people's toes.
- Peanut shells should be thrown on the ground, not at your brother.
- There is nothing more deplorable than a fair-weather fan.
- Always pay attention to the game going on in front of you.
- Know whether or not you're fast enough to steal bases, and then act accordingly.
- As soon as you get cocky, you're going to drop the ball.
- Run as fast as you can, even if you're certain you're safe.
- Shouting taunts at the players is sometimes funny, but always mean.
- Keep your eye on the ball and your swing even.
- And, once again, Fuck the Yankees.
Revisiting the Bad Mother Manifesto
1 hour ago