Sunday, November 02, 2008

Day of the dead, part II

Further lessons from my father, these ones taught entirely during baseball games but oddly applicable to everyday life:
  • Stand up and shut up when someone sings the National Anthem.
  • Just get a base hit. Don't try to be a hero.
  • A good play by your opponent is still a good play.
  • It's not over until it's over.
  • Let people have their silly superstitions.
  • If you didn't bring a mitt, get the hell out of the way.
  • Don't put stuff on the ground unless you're okay with it getting sticky.
  • Sit still.
  • Always say "excuse me" and watch out for people's toes.
  • Peanut shells should be thrown on the ground, not at your brother.
  • There is nothing more deplorable than a fair-weather fan.
  • Always pay attention to the game going on in front of you.
  • Know whether or not you're fast enough to steal bases, and then act accordingly.
  • As soon as you get cocky, you're going to drop the ball.
  • Run as fast as you can, even if you're certain you're safe.
  • Shouting taunts at the players is sometimes funny, but always mean.
  • Keep your eye on the ball and your swing even.
  • And, once again, Fuck the Yankees.

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