Friday, November 16, 2007


Generally speaking, The Ex and I get along just fine. Better than fine, really. I think you could probably even say we like each other. Or, at least, we don't dislike each other. Even so, I often find myself feeling about The Ex a lot like my twelve-year-old self felt about my mother: slightly annoyed and mildly embarrassed by association.

Tonight we had a conference with The Kid's teacher, and I was pleased to see that The Ex not only expressed interest in attending the conference, but also showed up on time. He even asked questions of the teacher. Thoughtful questions. He was actually actively paying attention.

Afterwards, we stood outside the school discussing what the teacher had said, and talked a little bit about the general greatness of our child. And then that segued into a talk about the education system, which segued into a talk about The Ex's sisters, which segued into a talk about jobs, which segued into the offer on the part of The Ex to help The New Guy find a job when he gets back into town, which segued into a talk about dating musicians, which segued into the swapping of book recommendations.

It was cold and dark and I was shivering uncontrollably by the time we were done, but I think these moments - moments when we are genuinely enjoying each other's company - are critically important and relatively uncommon in the world of divorced parents. I do my fare share of bitching about The Ex - and I expect that won't stop anytime soon - but I do sincerely appreciate the fact that we've been able to maintain a mutually respectful and friendly relationship. In keeping with the season, I thought I should say so out loud.

1 comment:

Ann said...

great post, I'm impressed.

I try to be civil with my ex for my son's benefit, but that's about as far as it goes. Normally I feel just like you described: "slightly annoyed and mildly embarrassed by association."

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