Monday, November 05, 2007

Oh the horror

I have been vegetarian-esque most of my life. My mom was a white meat only kind of lady until I was about 10, at which point she married That Man, bringing pain, misery, and red meat to the household. Three years (and one divorce) later, we were back to just chicken and fish. Soon, even those were too cancer ridden, antibiotic dependent, and/or mercury laden to be deemed acceptable. So we stuck with what we knew: vegetables, wrapped in pesticide-flavored candy shells.

And that's how I continue to eat today. It's not really a conscious thing, it's more just a force of habit. Plus, not being exposed to it that much growing up, I just never really developed much of a taste for animal flesh. (And I have NO idea how to cook the stuff.)

But I love me some fruits and vegetables. I get excited when I see fresh fruit in my fridge. I look forward with great anticipation to the box of organic vegetables delivered every other Thursday. And one of my absolute FAVORITE snacks is a colorful array of fresh veggies, with a side of blue cheese dressing.

This explains why I was so excited last Saturday night, when I opened the refrigerator door and saw a BRAND NEW CUCUMBER!! And mushrooms and peppers and carrots, oh my! And? Joy of joys? A brand new jar of blue cheese dressing! I gleefully put together my veggie plate and exuberantly pulled the plastic seal from the bottle of dressing. And then...

Oh no.

This can't be.

The label is supposed to be all blue.

What the hell is that word? That one there. The brown one.

Does that say...?

No way.

Fuck me.

It says bacon. I bought bacon blue cheese dressing.


dunsany said...

Didn't you know? Bacon is a vegetable.

Ann said...

that really stinks! I hate when I get excited about something and all my expectations are dashed to tiny bacon bits.

mmmmm...cucumber and peppers

Sarah said...

But...bacon's not a meat! Bacon is pure deliciousness wrapped in salt. It's a seasoning. I defy you to name one vegetarian dish that is not made better by the addition of bacon.

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