Sunday, November 25, 2007

House cleaning

When I moved into this house, I was the mother of a 10 month old. Basically what that means is that we never really unpacked. And, what unpacking we did do, took the form of emptying entire boxes into the nearest open drawer. Which explains why all of my underwear is stored in a kitchen cabinet.

About 9 months later my husband and I split - and so did all of his stuff, which left suddenly empty spaces sprinkled sporadically throughout the house. Having never really found the time to spread out and fill them in, many of these empty spaces are still there. Not too long ago, my mother was hunting for an obscure kitchen utensil, and stumbled upon an entire bank of unused drawers. She thought I'd emptied them in preparation of installing a dishwasher in their place. I didn't have the guts to tell her that I'd just never gotten around to organizing my shit, and now she's perpetually asking me about that damned dishwasher.

But now my son is older and my job is better, and I'm finding time here and there to clean, organize and, most importantly, purge. In the process I've turned up a lot of things well past their prime: outdated calendars, ancient cold remedies, receipts for things I never returned, an entire box of condoms. You know, the usual.

Tonight while making myself a cup of tea, I discovered two bottles of Smucker's brand Magic Shell ice cream topping. One is chocolate flavor, the other butterscotch. It's important to note that I don't like ice cream. Or chocolate. Or butterscotch. The last person living in this house who loved those things? My ex-husband, who moved out in 2003. Can you guess what else happened in 2003? The Magic Shell expired, according to their labels. Which (assuming that these things have a shelf life similar to that of Twinkies) means that me and The Ex must've bought the damn things sometime during the war of 1812.

I'm pretty sure that's his crystallized carton of ice cream in the freezer too.

1 comment:

Ann said...

Luckily when I split with my ex, I was the one who moved out, so I never had to happen across his things.

Hope you get all the purging and organizing done.

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