Monday, August 13, 2007

What a girl wants

Depending on his mood, The Kid is sometimes for and sometimes against the idea of a step-dad (or, as he refers to it, an "X-dad"). He brought the topic up last night as I was tucking him in, and requested that I not add a step-dad into the mix any time soon because he already has "a mom, a dad, and an x-mom and that's already too much." I assured him that there are no step-dads anywhere on the horizon. He got very thoughtful for a moment and then decided that a step-dad would be acceptable - fun, even - under very specific conditions. It seems that there are certain qualities any step-dad candidate should possess and, really, The Kid's not too far off base:

"He should have a heart." At first I thought The Kid had turned sentimental, but then he followed up with this: "And eyeballs. And a chin, because I saw a guy at the fair with no chin, and he was weird."

"He should be kind of skinny, and he shouldn't be too tall because then it's too hard to kiss him. And I know one thing: you like to kiss."

"He should not do wars. That's an important one. You should write that one down. And he should not punch or be mean. Or yell. Because then he'd be like this: 'HELLOOOOOOO!!!' all the time. And that would be weird. And then when the guy says 'you can kiss your wife now,' he'd be like 'OOOOOOOKAAAAAAAAY!!' and everyone in the church would be like 'What's that guy's problem?'"

The Kid cracked himself up with that one, and we both giggled for a while at the idea of living with someone who shouted everything he said. He couldn't figure out, though, what I thought was so funny about this next one:

"He should not snore. I don't want to have to listen to that through the walls at night."

As for interests and hobbies, The Kid was full of suggestions:

"He should be able to sing, or play guitar or something. And he should like to play with us and laugh with us and be funny. He should know how to read, especially bed-time stories. He should like to cook with us when we have our cooking nights. And he should be smart and know things that we don't know and then teach them to us."

And - with a wisdom beyond his years - this is what he ended with:

"But mostly, he should just make you feel happy. So go on dates with him before you marry him to make sure he's a good one for you."

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