Wednesday, July 18, 2007

A better way to start the day

I think I've mentioned before that I have a habit of laughing in my sleep, and often wake myself up doing so. It's probably not too far a stretch, then, for you to assume that I've also been known to do a fair amount of sleep talking. You would be correct in that assumption. And while I leave the sleep walking and peeing on/in things that only vaguely resemble toilets (garbage cans, open windows, potted plants, etc.) to my brother and late father, I've certainly been known to carry on conversations - sitting up with eyes wide open - while sound asleep. My ex-husband can tell you the tale of the night I wouldn't let him in bed for fear he would disturb my papers. "What papers?" he asked. "The PAPERS!" I screamed, adding for clarification: "The IMPORTANT ones. With HOLES IN THEM." He made the mistake of telling me he'd put them on the floor, which is clearly not the proper thing to do with important papers with holes in them. It was another 20 minutes before I grudgingly allowed him in bed, still skeptical but willing to accept that the papers would be okay.

There was a time when such occurrences were fairly common, but over the years the frequency and intensity has dwindled to the occasional sleepy chuckle. This morning, though, I was nudged half awake by a woman's voice clearly stating two words: "Binocular ratchet." Recognizing the voice as my own, I giggled and was quickly slipping back into deep slumber when I heard myself say again, but more forcefully this time: "BINOCULAR RATCHET!" Jolted completely awake this time, I sat up, glanced at the clock, and decided I might as well get up - which marks the first time in YEARS that I haven't spent the first hour of my morning hitting and rehitting and rehitting the snooze button.

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