Wednesday, February 14, 2007

More soccer than martini

Earlier this week I attended the last of the school tours for The Kid's impending introduction to the public school system. This particular tour began with a slide show featuring photos of cherubic children reading, playing, singing, and generally having one helluva great time at Lafayette Elementary. It was set to the cheesiest pop country song ever, and the combination of cute kids and some dude pleading with me to "let them be little, cuz they're only that way for a while" was a blatant attempt to pull on the [blink] heart strings of parents [blink, blink, blink] sending their babies [sniffle] off to kindergarten. As if that [sniffle, blink, blink, sniffle] would make a difference [sniffle, uncomfortable shifting, sniffle] in the school [blink, blink, stare at floor, sniffle] I send my child to [cough, avert eyes, sniffle]. Any parent [blink, blink, nervously gaze around room] moved by such a thing [avert eyes, avert eyes, avert eyes] is clearly over emotional [smile weakly at other parents also averting eyes] and a ridiculous [blink, blink] sap [sniffle].

If this school didn't happen to be the one closest to my house, I'd cross it off my list on principle. Stupid freakin' country song.

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