Monday, November 20, 2006

A note to Microsoft

You've got spell check, which is great. Grammar check? Not so much... but it tries, and I give it credit for that. The only thing missing is an idiot check. I'm thinking of something that would keep me from sending out emails like this:

"Should we change the logo on the back, or leave it in the box to make it poop?" I asked my graphic designer for his opinion on pooping logos. Fantastic. Clearly I meant to say “...make it pop," but I'm an idiot.

Similarly, the Washington State Bar Association is going to host a panel of judges. Not, despite what you may have heard, hose them.

See where I'm headed with this?

It doesn’t need to be fancy – no pop-up dialogue boxes with suggestions to correct my idiocy. I’m thinking of just an audible alert, much like the “da-ding” sound of an email hitting my inbox. Except in the case of the idiot check, I think the “da-ding” should be replaced with “dumb-ass,” stated in a calm computer simulated voice. And if you can figure out a way for a white gloved hand to reach from the screen and bitch slap the offending idiot, all the better.

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