Monday, August 14, 2006

The real reason I love my job

Someone recently told me that 70% of attorneys will develop a drinking problem at some point during the span of their careers. It is a sad statistic, but probably not entirely inaccurate. Sure, for those 70% it amounts to tattered home lives, bitter screaming matches in the lunch room, and the perpetual stank of hangover breath. But it also amounts to a lot of work functions with free booze.

Forgive me if I seem insensitive, but god bless any statistic that results in free booze for me.

Tonight was one such free booze filled work function, and I (as co-hostess) was there until the bitter end. (Though, since I was working, I was sadly not consuming the free booze.) As reward for my selfless dedication to the firm, I was permitted to take home two of the left over half-empty bottles of (quite delicious) wine. So excited was I by my bottles, that it wasn't until I gleefully skipped to the parking lot that I thought to wonder how I might get them home without dumping red wine all over the interior of my car.

After much thought, I stuck them in my cup holders. One holder happens to be nestled between the two front seats and the bottle that sat there was quiet and unobtrusive. The other holder is on the dash, and the second bottle perched proudly there, standing tall so that its rim nearly grazed the rearview, a virtual beacon to cops as it loudly screamed, "Look at me, I'm an open container!!"

Let me tell you one thing: It doesn't matter how upscale and expensive the wine, nothing makes you feel more like a trailer trash lush than driving around with an open bottle of vino in your cup holder.

Coming soon: Pictures of panties. I can see by the look on your face that you think I'm joking. Quite sadly, you are mistaken. Angry Dissenter has tagged me, and I shall not let him down.

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