Sunday, April 09, 2006

In hiding, part deux

What else does a woman in hiding do to keep herself busy? She spends lots of money, or dies trying.

I had intended to drop a wad of cash on a new digital camera this weekend. And not one of those cute teeny tiny ones. No - I had my eyes on a real camera capable of taking fabulous photos large enough to crash my computer after one upload. Mmmm... megapixels.

Instead, I found myself in an entirely different type of store, awash in lust for the couch in front of me. It's been a long love affair between the couch and I. I visit it often, letting its regal lines seduce me until I fall to the embrace of its pillows, quivering in my exquisite desire as I stroke the velvety softness of its arms. I LOVE this couch. If I were presented with a choice between Johnny Depp and this couch, I would take the couch! But I haven't been able to justify the cost until this weekend when, upon entering the store for a long overdue reunion with my upholstered lover, I was greeted with a most beautiful vision: a cheery yellow SALE! card attached to my beloved piece of furniture. Alas, after further inspection I discovered that the couch and I are literally not a good fit. I had been too enamored with its pillows on previous visits to notice that without them my ass was at least 6 inches from its back. My attempts to enjoy the couch sans pillows left me mostly reclined and staring at the ceiling (which is not necessarily a bad way to enjoy a couch, but it shouldn't be the only way you're able to enjoy a couch). Trying to convince myself there are other couches in the sea, I dejectedly wandered through the rest of the store...

...and stumbled upon the dinnerware of my dreams. I quickly forgot my earlier heartbreak and was about to gleefully snatch up 8 place settings, when it occurred to me that I should confirm that these babies are dishwasher and microwave safe. (Not that I currently have a dishwasher in which to ruin them, but I have big plans for the future!) The store was about to close and the only remaining sales woman was busy with another customer, so I decided to leave and sleep on the idea of new dinnerware (something I've wanted for a long time but is relatively low on the list of priorities) to make sure this new love wasn't just a rebound.

Back in the car and heading towards the camera store (remember, that was the original purpose of my outing), I decided to make a quick stop at another furniture store to visit a chair I've had my eye on, only to discover that it'd been sold and there will be no more coming to replace it. Bummer.

Finally making my way to examine the three cameras vying for a place in my home, I was met by throngs of weekend shoppers too dumb to get out of their own way, let alone mine. I stood for a moment weighing my desire for a new camera against my distaste for stupid people, and then quietly turned and left the store.

When I got home I bid on a really cute purse on eBay, which I eventually lost.

So, in summary, I attempted to buy a couch, 8 new place settings, a chair, a camera and a purse and was unsuccessful in all endeavors. I'm okay with that, given that I'd find myself about $4000 poorer had I been successful. (Truth be told, I've been saving for all but the dishes and the purse for the past three years, so I wasn't being nearly as impulsive as it might seem.)

The weekend was not an entire failure though. What I lacked in shopping success, I more than made up for in house cleaning. The entire house is clean. Not just the upstairs; not just the basement; but both floors at the same time. In addition, ALL my laundry is washed, folded and tucked nicely in drawers. (Actually, it's more accurately crammed nicely in drawers. Turns out I've got a lot of clothes, I just didn't realize it because never in my life has it ever all been clean at the same time).

Most impressive, however, is the cleaning number I did on the spare room, also known as the place household items go to die. The room is almost as small as it is orange (if you've ever stepped foot in there, you know what I'm talking about). It's about the size of a walk-in closet due to the bathroom expansion done (poorly, I might add) by previous owners, and I've never really known what to do with it so it functions mainly as... well, a walk in closet. Basically I store stuff in it: gift wrap, art supplies, photo albums, extra blankets, broken/loud/ugly toys I've confiscated from The Kid hoping he won't notice, and anything else I can't find a good place for. At some point I stopped bothering with any sort of order in the room, and took to opening the door and just tossing stuff in. But you should see it now! Not only have I rediscovered the floor, I also rediscovered the following:
  • my left glove
  • gift bags for the children at The Kid's last birthday party that I forgot to hand out
  • the directions for a toy I threw away just LAST WEEK because I'd never been able to get it to work
  • the missing piece to said toy that I didn't know it was missing because I couldn't find the directions
  • two bags of trash that had been sitting in there for god knows how long
  • three toys Santa meant to take back that the Easter Bunny will now make use of
  • the citronella candle I bought last year when I foolishly thought I'd get my patio in before the end of summer
  • a bag containing my hammer, assorted nails and pins, level, and measuring tape, which would have come in very handy during yesterday's picture hanging project
  • a right glove that sadly does not match the left glove mentioned above

'Tis amazing what one can accomplish by simply not answering one's phone for two days!

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