Thursday, March 30, 2006

Here. Witness the rapid disintegration of my mind. It's my gift to you.

About two years ago, I received a fortune from a cookie that said "You will win someone's heart." At the time, I had re-entered the dating scene fairly recently and had made my way through a number of 'tweeners. ('Tweener = the guy you date between the last guy and the next guy. For me, they'd all been 'tweeners. And one Navy boy.) I'd just gotten blown off and was beginning to dip my toes into the well of self-pity when I got the fortune. Silly, but it made me feel a little better so I kept it.

For the next year, the fortune was taped to a shelf in my office to remind me that someday my prince would come. Unfortunately the prince never showed, and eventually my fortune became desperate to make its escape. I kept finding it in odd places all over my office. One day I found it stuck to the bottom of my shoe. The shoe day just happened to coincide with my waning infatuation with Married Guy. I taped the fortune back in place, but decided to accept the sign the universe was sending: the heart I was going to win didn't belong to Married Guy.

I haven't thought of the fortune since, but today it fluttered down from its shelf and landed softly on my keyboard. We've been through a lot, the fortune and me. It looks as tattered and worn as I feel. But as it sat there on my keyboard calmly repeating its constant affirmation, it looked happy.

(And here it is, the gift you were promised: me, losing my mind.)

I think it knows someone who likes me, and it wants to tell me but was sworn to secrecy. OH MY GOD! What if it was trying to spell out a message using the letters on my keyboard, like a modern day ouija board?! If that's true, then the man of my dreams is named Tyhj. Or maybe Yujk. (I can't remember exactly where it landed. Dammit!) Either way, it sounds foreign. Perfect. I love a man with an accent.

1 comment:

Angry Dissenter said...

Crazy messages from the universe, hm?

What a relief.

I thought I was the only one. :)

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