Friday, November 11, 2005

My son is a medium

Don't believe me? Stop by the house on most any evening around 7:00 (also known as "pre-dinner") and witness him channeling the devil.

Last night's episode was particularly bad, with 2 solid hours of screaming. Somehow I managed to remain calm and collected throughout the ordeal - never even raised my voice - though I did have to hide in the kitchen a couple times to wipe away my own tears and pull myself together. And I conducted one negotiation session in the fetal position on the dining room floor, the oddity of which was enough to quiet Riley down at least momentarily.

The stand-off culminated with a chase around the dining room table. It takes longer to catch a demon than you might suspect, especially when you have to keep scooting into the kitchen to hide your laughter. (The scene provided much needed comic relief for me, but I thought it best not to encourage such behavior with giggles.) As I carried him to his room to put the beast to bed, he bit me. BIT me. Holy crap.

The evening got more bizarre during a late night phone conversation with my mom. I am now all up to speed on the various methods for combating menopausal difficulties. Somehow that parlayed into a conversation about birth control and all the different types that involve insertion and retrieval (we went through them one by one: IUDs, diaphrams, cervical caps, sponges, the ring) and the inherent difficulties of each. And that parlayed into a hysterical retelling of tampon malfunction, the details of which I won't divulge in such a public forum. Damn funny though.

All in all, quite the evening! I'll be picking up some holy water and a case of beer on my way home in case there's a repeat tonight.

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