Tuesday, October 25, 2005

No, It's not a hickey... (this time)

My son flipped out last night. FLIPPED out. Like nothing I've seen before. We'd been playing with our neighbors who have a son about the same age - the boys apparently competing to see who could be louder while making the bigger mess; the adults sipping wine, conversing, and expertly tuning out the the ruckus coming from the next room. Quite lovely for all involved. So lovely, in fact, that we stayed until 10:00 - about an hour past bed time for both kiddos. This is usually not a particularly big deal - maybe a little extra whining, but nothing earth shattering.

Well, the earth certainly shattered last night. Yes indeedy. God forbid you try to put a coat on your child on a dark, cold, blustery night. My attempts not to laugh at his screams of "I don't like zippers!!" (c'mon, that's funny) were not successful, which only made him more angry, and eventually I was forced to carry a kicking, screaming, flailing, (and in the end, coatless) wretched little devil of a child across the street where I was finally able to calm him down and put him to bed. But not before he managed to gouge me beneath the eye (drawing blood) and on my neck (leaving what looks like a hickey). In his defense, neither wound was inflicted intentionally - just a result of his desperate attempts to get away from me and my apparent neglect in the finger nail cutting department. Still, I have never seen him so full of rage and completely out of control. It was more than a little frightening.

(Sorry, kid. It appears that instead of an average height gene, which you desperately need, I instead passed on the extremely volatile Irish temper gene. Good luck with that one.)

My mom came over this morning to watch him and I briefly filled her in, showing my wounds as proof of last night's horror. Upon seeing the "hickey" she asked, "So, what do you think possessed him to suck on your neck?"

Um. Hello? Mom? It's not actually a hickey. But please, just for laughs, describe to me the scenario you're imagining in which my son and his superhuman lips are able to latch on to my neck and suck long enough to give me a hickey.

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