Friday, October 28, 2005

If at first you don't succeed, ask Dad instead

Riley was supposed to be the cat in the hat for Halloween - again. It was his choice, and I made it very clear to him that he couldn't change his mind at the last minute. Unfortunately, I neglected to make it very clear to his father. So Todd brought him home one night with a brand new Spiderman costume. There wasn't much left to choose from, Todd informed me, so the smallest size available was for ages 7-8.

My child is four. And small for his age.

The thing is literally a foot too long, and the crotch hangs down to his knees. He spent the remainder of the night tripping himself, one foot accidentally stepping on the excess material dangling from the other. And then there's the mask. The way the holes line up on his little face, he has the option of seeing or breathing - but not both. Somehow I suspect that the blind stumbling will only get worse on a dark rainy night full of dangers like porch stairs and uneven sidewalks.

Nicely done, Todd.

In an effort to solve the problem, Melissa (Todd's woman) offered to amputate the bottom 12 inches of the costume. Awesome. The only problem is that 12 inches up, the legs are fairly wide. I fear this particular Spiderman will be sporting bell bottoms that will put to shame the Navy uniforms of yesteryear.

Just call him Popeye the Spiderman.

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